Friday, May 18, 2018
For Bubbles
1. Little kids love them.
2. They help when cleaning a greasy pan.
3. Otherwise gum would just be something you, well, chewed.
4. If you ever need to trap a fairy or other small creature, bubbles could be the perfect prison.
5. They are fun to pop.
6. Just saying the word bubbles can make you feel a little happier.
7. Because without them, would your children ever be willing to take a bath?
8. They let you know when the water is boiling.
9. They can reveal where there is a leak.
10. Because blowing them gives you something to do on a pleasant day outside.
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
The Candy Store
The candy store was the best place to find fairies.
Oh, none of the adults realized the fairies were there, or that the candy was actually fairy food.
But the children knew there was something off about the owners and employees of the candy shop from the moment they stepped inside.
That unsettling feeling that tickled at each child's instinct to flee and never return was offset by their parents apparent ease, the presence of tasty treats along every wall, and the fact that everyone knew fairies didn't really exist.
And so the children ignored their unease, found that special candy they loved, and left the store with the taste of a newly-seeded obsession on their lips.
Friday, May 11, 2018
What to do When it Rains
1. Read a book.
2. Use an umbrella.
3. Watch the rain fall.
4. Try to keep the dog out of any mud.
5. Jump in the puddles.
6. Drink hot chocolate.
7. Eat grilled cheese sandwiches and soup.
8. Not worry about watering the garden.
9. Dance in the rain.
10. Take a nap.
Wednesday, May 9, 2018
To Hear the Wind Howl
The howling wind went unnoticed by most, as it was a constant in their lives. The wind always howled.
During the day.
At night.
Through sunshine and storms, the wind always howled.
So why pay attention to it?
But then came the day when the wind stilled.
The silence was unnerving. It chilled all who strained their ears to hear any hint of the missing wind.
But there wasn't even a breath of breeze.
And in the stillness, people noticed an smell.
It was faint at first, merely making noses scrunch in unconscious dislike.
But the stench grew, until no-one could ignore it.
Was was that smell? How long had it been there, unnoticed because of the wind?
Why had the wind ceased?
When the stench began to overwhelm people so much that they fell unconscious, people started to worry.
When the stench-stricken failed to awake, that worry turned to panic.
Bunkers were formed as quickly as possible, though figuring out how to keep out the Stench took precious time.
Others set out to find out why the wind had stopped blowing, braving the Stench in order to carry out their search.
As years passed, the people fell into their new roles.
Wind-seekers, Scent-cleansers, and Ruin-runners all worked in relative harmony to keep what was left of their world running.
In the stillness, all secretly strained to hear the wind howl once more.
Friday, May 4, 2018
When Simple is Best
1. When trying to resolve a miscommunication.
2. When training an animal.
3. When making a last-minute costume.
4. When teaching little kids how to play a game.
5. When you're brushing a cat.
6. During a first draft.
7. When you are exhausted.
8. If you need to run from a bear.
9. When you're anxious about what you are doing.
10. When you need to explain how to do something to someone who has never done it before.
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
In Case of...
When I got a job at a super top secret laboratory, there were some things I already expected to find.
Aliens in the attic? That means they can stargaze.
Dinosaurs being bred in the basement? A little cramped and smelly, but better organized than the clone lab.
Clones? So far they're all of some guy named Jack.
But one thing that didn't expect, and am still uncertain of, it what they have in place of a fire extinguisher on aisle twelve of basement floor 37B.
In a plain metal box, protected from outside interference by a thin sheet of glass, is a blond wig.
Above the box is a sign which simply reads, In Case of Dragons, Break Glass.
The problem is, we don't have any dragons. I've search everywhere I have clearance to enter (and a good many that I don't), but there are no dragons.
Not even a robot dragon.
So why have that emergency wig, on a random floor deep underground, when there are no dragons?
I'll probably never know.
But if I ever have a bad hair day, I know where to go.
Friday, April 27, 2018
To Shop Online
1. It means you don't have to plan a trip to the store.
2. Sometimes you can find items at a discounted price.
3. You won't have to wander around the store and wonder if people are judging you for your choice of cereal.
4. Free shipping.
5. Because there are a lot of things online that you can't find in a physical store.
6. It'll give you plenty of time to overthink your potential purchase.
7. You won't have to look anyone in the eye (at least not until your stuff gets delivered).
8. The shipping time will give you a chance to get excited about what package will arrive first.
9. You won't have to drive anywhere.
10. It gives you a chance to go shopping with your goldfish.
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