To give your cat a bath

1. Because you want to be clawed to death.
2. Because the cat ate all of your bacon.
3. Because it walked through wet paint.
4. Because the toddler styled its fur with mushed peas.
5. Because your friend dared you to.
6. Because the cat rolled in dirt.
7. Because the dog slobbered all over the cat.
8. Because a clean cat is a happy cat. (At least after it dries.)
9. Because a tongue just isn't able to get rid of all that tree sap.
10. Because your cat is weird and likes water.