To never trust a cat

1. Cats are sneaky. Cats are always slinking from room to room. And if you happen to catch them at it, they dart away before you can catch them.
2. Cats are unpredictable. You could be sitting there reading a book, with a cat watching from beside you. Then suddenly, the cat leans forward and bites the corner of the page! Whatever did that book do to anger the cat?
3. Cats can be jerks. The cat saunters into the room, and you cheerfully call to it. But instead of coming over, the cat completely ignores you to go to someone else.
4. Cats can be mean. You're gently stroking the cat, when it suddenly growls and tries to bite your hand.
5. Cats have to be the center of attention. Sitting at the computer, you're typing away. Then the cat comes and blocks your view of the monitor, and when that doesn't work, begins pressing random keys to ruin your work.
6. Cats don't always get along with one another. Two cats met at a crossroad. Instead of peacefully passing each other, they arch their backs and begin hissing as they prepare to tear each other apart.
7. Cats are dangerous. When startled awake, the cats strikes out with a vengeance far greater then the crime committed.
8. Cats have a horrible sense of timing. It rarely fails that a cat will choose to grace you with their presence at the exact moment you are about to leave.
9. Cats are thieves. Be it pillows or food left on the counter, the cat will lay claim to anything it wants without regard of your feelings.
10. Cats are cats. The only person who can trust the cat is the cat itself.