Craggily Lumps

When planning your vacation, be sure to avoid the Craggily Lumps.
For unlike many other, more pleasing retreats, the Craggily Lumps are neither scenic nor restful.  As the name suggests, the Craggily Lumps is a rough area that might once have been hills, but now were the upheaved earth and jagged rocks between a soupy brown mush of bogland.
And if the area itself wasn't a deterrent, the wildlife just might. Regardless of time or weather, the Mock-a-lot Misconductors' will live up to their name. A strange mix of marten and alligator, the Mock-a-lot Misconductor will do everything it can to harass any who enter its territory. From stealing belongings to attempted consumption, the Mock-a-lot Misconductor will not stop until the intruder is gone.
So, when planning your next vacation, please take our advice, and avoid Craggily Lumps.

How to Spend a Friday Night

1. Hanging out with friends.
2. Working on a craft.
3. Watching movies.
4. Spending time with family.
5. Stargazing.
6. Catching up on chores.
7. Reading a book.
8. Eating lots of snacks.
9. Learning something new.
10. Sleeping.

Sweet Little Songs

Sweet little songs fill the air.
Tiny grasping fingers pull at hair.
Sweet little gurgles turn to tiny cries.
And mothers sing sweet lullabies.
A new baby born is such a gift.
One that can the sorrowful heart uplift.

Dinner Ideas

1. Spaghetti with garlic toast. Delicious and easy to make.
2. Omelets. Everyone can choose fillings they like.
3. Fish in a bag. Now includes fish, veggies, and rice!
4. Tacos. Another quick and easy choice, but with a different spice!
5. Ice cream. Because on some nights, you just want a treat.
6. Soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. A classic and a comfort on cold nights.
7. Cold cereal. Sometimes cereal and milk is all you have the energy for.
8. Roasted chicken and broccoli. The oven gets to do the work!
9. Peppered pork chops over couscous and balsamic mushrooms. For when you're feeling fancy.
10. Smoked ribs with cornbread and oven fries. Because some foods just need your fingers.

Kind Words

Doubts choke the heart, and tear apart the mind.
Is it any wonder that hurtful words can act in kind?
The things that you speak have power, this is true.
And sometimes at power is turned against you.
Kind words for others are nice to share.
But don't forget that kind words are also yours to bear.
A thoughtful word can brighten one's day.
So don't be afraid to freely give them away.
Then the doubts will recede as happiness warms the heart.
And that warmth will ease the wounds that smart.

Useful Objects

1. A paperclip. It can hold papers together, and be straightened out to pop the bathroom door's lock when the cat locks herself in there.
2. A box. It helps you organize your things, and keeps the cat entertained!
3. A flashlight. Because tripping over the cat on the way to get a drink at midnight is no fun.
4. A hairbrush. Because the cat is not the best hairstylist to hire.
5. A pillow. It makes sleeping so much more comfortable, so long as the cat hasn't stolen it.
6. A table. The floor is nice, but sometimes it's easier to work at a table. Unless the cat has claimed it for a solar-powered nap.
7. A computer. It lets you do all sorts of things, like look at pictures of cats.
8. A cookie jar. It keeps your goodies safe from treat-stealing cats.
9. A book. It can take you on amazing adventures, if only the cat will let you read it.
10. A door. To keep the cat out when you need some time alone.

Gnawed Bones

The battle fought was all for nought.
All that remained was charred ground, shattered trees, and gnawed bones.
There were none to tell the tale of this battle,of what monstrous beast faced off against a hopefully valiant hero.
Or was the beast the hero of this story?
The truth would never be known, and time would soon erase what evidence remained of this fight.
Even now, scavengers had picked what little of value there had been.
Gnawed, unidentifiable bones were apparently of little worth.
But perhaps some minstrel would happen upon the scene, and compose a song of the battle he imagined took place here.
Then those bones wouldn't lie forgotten, but would echo through time in song.

Possible New Year's Resolutions

1. To eat healthier.
2. To exercise.
3. To learn a new skill.
4. To be kinder to others.
5. To build better habits.
6. To finish old projects.
7. To make new friends.
8. To be better at cleaning.
9. To smile more.
10. To overcome a fear.

Unexpected Guests

Every third Tuesday, Grandmother locks herself in the basement to do laundry.
My mom told me that Grandmother has always done this, even when Mom was little.
Everyone else just accepts this as one of Grandmother's quirks, and have grown tired of me wondering why.
The only one who doesn't pat my head and tell me to go play like I'm a little kid is Grandfather.
He's even worse.
Grandfather gets this twinkle in his eye, lifts a finger to his lips, and says he's been sworn to secrecy.
Then he has the nerve to wink.
So today, I decided to get to the bottom of this mystery by hiding in the basement.
When I hear Grandmother at the top of the stairs, I make sure I'm hidden behind the boxes of Christmas decorations. I can see the washer and dryer from here, but hopefully Grandmother won't turn at just the right angle to see me.
When Grandmother comes down the stairs, I frown a little as she starts sorting dirty clothes. I don't recognize some of those shirts, and I know no one in the family has ever worn that tie-dyed monstrosity of a dress.
Still, I settle in to the wait as she works. Maybe the unfamiliar clothes are recent purchases Grandmother has made. Hopefully that dress isn't for me, as I don't think I could fake even an ounce of liking for that horrid thing.
When Grandmother gets all the clothes sorted, I expected that the next step would be to load the washer.
But instead of doing that, Grandmother pulled the lint trap from the dryer, and spoke into its slot. "Let the exchange commence."
I shook my head as Grandmother leaned back. Grandfather was right to keep the fact that Grandmother was missing a few squares from her quilt a secret. I should have just left it alone.
But just as I was planning how to never let Grandmother know about my new knowledge, something climbed out of the lint trap's slot.
It looked like a living pile of lint, the dull gray kind that never seems to care what color clothes were in the dryer.
I had to cover my mouth to keep in my gasp.
Either Grandmother wasn't crazy, or a gas leak down here was causing hallucinations.
I wasn't sure which to hope for.
The creature started talking to Grandmother in a language I didn't know, but that Grandmother could apparently speak. As they conversed, other creatures came out of the lint trap slot and started going through the dirty clothes.
But then one saw me.
It let out a rumbling cry that sounded like tennis balls bouncing around in the dryer. At its cry, all the others stiffened and turned toward me.
Grandmother turned as well, and started speaking quickly in the creatures'  language.
The first one replied back with something in its voice that made me shiver.
But Grandmother must have won the argument, for the first creature turned and said something to all the others.
All the creatures stared at me for a moment longer, then retreated inside the lint trap slot.
Grandmother replaced the lint trap, then stood and motioned to me.
I went to her, though I couldn't stop from glancing at the lint trap.
"You'd best head upstairs, dear." Grandmother said sternly. "The dust bunnies don't take well to unexpected guests."